fbpx

Argumentative Writing: Tales from the Trenches

There’s nothing like a cold and rainy Wednesday to burst your bubble.  I had been so happy about the way our wonderful argumentative essay unit was going.

“I am so proud, I can’t ask for more,” I told my husband one night at dinner. “The kids are writing like high school students!”

 

Just when I thought things were going really well, I was reminded that my students are only 12 years old.

Well, reality is a harsh master. Today, while I was conferencing with students, I came across the following nuggets of wisdom:

  1. Health care is not a good idea for several reasons.
  2. Gun control means that people know how to use and care for their guns.
  3. 90% of all US deaths happen because of guns.
  4. If we were to have year-round school, teachers would run out of information to teach.
And my favorite:
     5.  Studies show that state testing causes vomiting on answer sheets.
     I love my job.  I love these kids.  Responses like these serve as a smack to my big, fat head.  A reminder that no matter how they look and act sometimes, my students are children. They have only been on this planet for twelve short years. In diapers for a quarter of their lives.
     So I decided to enjoy the unintentional humor and looked at the situation realistically. I have over 100 students. Most of the essays have a lot of promise. I can handle five less than stellar research misquotes or misunderstandings.   I started emphasizing the importance of reading one’s own paper before we conference.  I told period 7 that it might even save a life. MY life. They love when I exaggerated about how I take their errors personally.
     Because I like to give others a chuckle when I get a plethora of funny answers, I shared these gems in an email to the other teachers on my team, the principal, and the assistant principals. I omitted names of course.
     Let me tell you, I work with some clever people. These are some of the responses I received:
In reference to Health care is not a good idea for several reasons.
“This is why we are now serving double-deep-fried Whoopie bars in the cafeteria.”
In reference to 90% of all US deaths happen because of guns.
-“Well, that solves the healthcare issue.”
In reference to If we were to have year-round school, teachers would run out of information to teach. 
Oh no! They’ve heard what I’m like in June.
Regarding  Studies show that state testing causes vomiting on answer sheets.
-“It’s true, but sometimes the teachers vomit on the test booklets also.”
     Perfect day. I love my job.